During my recent vacation, I was having breakfast at the common dining space with my family. We were enjoying and possibly indulging in the excellent food. The chef’s preparations were simply too good to remember anything about mindful eating. 🙁
At the next table was another family – husband, wife and 2 boys.
Digression:
It’s a bit of a change if you’ve observed that nowadays, when out of home, the man of the home does the task of fussing over the kids (earlier it was the women). You see fathers taking their daughters for a walk while the mother is busy texting or talking to her friends on the awesomeness of the vacation. How times change! 😊
Back:
So, this gentle minded and voiced father was tending to his brood of two very active boys and I heard him say, “Eat well, else I won’t take you to the waterfall.” That line triggered off this post.
Now, it was harmless threat and I’m sure it was not real either. But that’s my point – why do parents say things to their children which they don’t mean and which make no sense 🤔. I’m sure irrespective of what the kids ate, the family would still visit the waterfall. I also feel the kids knew this. Do parents think that kids aren’t intelligent enough to see through such illogical statements?
A line stating “Eat well, else you wouldn’t have enough strength to trek to the waterfall,” might have gone better. I think kids should be given their due. If intelligent parents, expecting their children to grow intelligently saying meaningless things sets a pretty bad example.
The man I’m talking of, had all the love for his kids. I watched him over the day and saw him doing everything to make the vacation enjoyable for this family – not to mention paying for it all 🤑.
My point here is simply that when it comes to children, parents could be more effective in bringing discipline into the little ones by using more meaningful words. Empty threats only end up telling the kids that their parents don’t mean what they say.
To get a child to do something, it would be best to relate the action to something the child would miss if not done. For e.g., in the above-mentioned case, “Eat well else you would feel tired and not be able to enjoy the waterfall,” would tell the children what they would miss and give them the required meaningful incentive to eat well.
So:
Kids aren’t dumb, trust them for their intelligence.
Don’t threaten children to discipline them – let them know what they would miss.
If a threat is required – make it meaningful and implementable
“Why? does it hurt, you know we’re just punishing you for your crimes”.
“What did I do?”
“You didn’t give me your lunch, so I’ll punch you till you realise your mistake.”
Trrrrrrrriiiiing, the school bell rang, Arjun ran away. Just another day in his life.
On his way back home, it started raining. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning crashed nearby, then another, then another and then the final one hit Arjun precisely on the head. He could feel the lightning’s electrons finding their way into his atoms, ionizing him. He could feel the electricity flowing through his veins, yet he didn’t realise it, for all he saw was a flash. “The lightning bolt almost hit me, I’m lucky I didn’t burn to ashes!” he thought. He continued walking home.
After reaching home he started doing his homework. Two hours later, when he was done, he decided to go for a walk in the park. Only he and an elderly lady were in the park. All of a sudden, a masked man with a gun jumped out in front of her. “Give me your phone, purse and bank card now!” he ordered. The helpless woman gave everything he asked for.
Arjun couldn’t take it. He ran and instantly was in front of the man.
“Those things don’t belong to you, give them back or else……” Arjun said.
“Or else what, are you gonna hurt me, haahahahaha” he taunted.
Arjun could feel the electricity bursting out of his veins and impulsively punched the man. Zap! the man felt a surge of electricity momentarily stunning him. Arjun ran around the man as fast as lightning, the man let loose a bullet. It soared and hit Arjun but it simply bounced away like a sponge ball. Arjun started closing in on the man and suddenly released a blast of electricity hitting the man and then as if exploding turned into a circle and went some distance before dying out. “I must be dreaming,” said the old lady and fainted. The man fell unconscious as well.
Arjun realised what had happened, the lightning bolt had hit him on the head ionizing his body and charging him with electricity. He could now release and control electricity and has an unbreakable body. In other words, Arjun had superpowers.
Meanwhile, the Prime Minister was inspecting a government laboratory. The scientists there reported that a massive burst of electricity had been detected. They located where the blast came from but not what the blast came from. The Prime Minister sent his men there. All they found was an old woman and a boy walking.
But one of them noticed something, something very important, the boy released a small spark.
“I’m telling you the boy was the cause of that burst,” said the person who spotted the spark.
“It’s impossible, unless……. he’s been hit by electricity at a particular spot. ……. The boy could be ionized and charged with electricity. I want you to bring me that boy so we can scan his body and figure out whether you’re telling the truth, if you are we’ll make him go through some tests to find out how it happened,” said the Prime Minister.
“Yes, sir”. After that they departed. On his way back home from his office the Prime Minister thought, “If that boy really was the cause of the burst, then………. then it’s great. All I have to do is take his powers and then I’ll finally be able to rule India or better the world!”
Arjun was on top of the world! The old lady seemed to think that the incident was a dream. He took the man away, dropped him in front of the police station and wrote a note which said that he was a criminal. Back as the park, as soon as the woman left, Arjun started running around the park at precisely the speed of light. He ran 100 laps in just one second, just so you know one lap equals 3000m. All of a sudden, he transformed into pure electricity. He ran home and went into a switchboard. He started controlling the lights and fans. He started wreaking havoc. The lights went on and off the fans’ speed kept increasing and decreasing. Luckily, his mother was busy working in another room and didn’t notice. After some time, Arjun came out. He wanted to switch to his human form, and he did!
After that a team of government officials came to his house. They told him that the Prime Minister wanted to see him, they had informed his mother and his school about this. He told okay to it. Then he was asked to sit in a car that would take him to the airport, but he just googled where the Prime Minister lived and found out in which direction the Prime Minister’s house was, then in less than a second, he was in front of the Prime Minister’s house. Then instantly he went back to the government officials and told them that he would be at the Prime Minister’s house, before they could respond he disappeared.
In front of the Prime Minister’s house, Arjun rang the doorbell. There was no response so he switched to his electric form and slipped in through the keyhole. He searched and eventually found the Prime Minister. He was in his office thinking about something. Arjun slowly walked behind him and jumped towards his head he managed to pass the Prime Minister’s skull and entered his brain.
He could hear the Prime Minister’s thoughts and he heard, “I can’t wait till that kid comes. I wish I could get his powers now. Too bad it will take them until tomorrow to reach. I made my men prepare everything, the exchange room, the waiting chamber but because of those fools it’ll all have to wait. But I think I can wait. As the saying will go, “I didn’t conquer the world in one day.”
Arjun was terrified, he escaped the Prime Minister’s brain and was about to run away but the Prime Minister turned around and saw him. Arjun instantly switched to his human form but the Prime Minister managed to get a glimpse of him in his electric form. “So, it’s true, the Lightning Boy really exists. Oops, I forgot to introduce myself I am….”
Arjun cut the Prime Minister and said, “I know who you are and I know what you want.”
“Oh, so they told you we were going to make you go through some tests.”
“No, I know what you really want.”
“Well done, but I’m afraid it’s too late. Boys take him away!”
Arjun turned around he saw a few armed men, then one of them shot something rubber-like at Arjun. It expanded and trapped him inside it. Arjun wasn’t bothered by that as he saw that there was a small hole in the trap. He tried to switch to his electric form to get out from there but he wasn’t able to. He tried sending out a blast through the hole but he wasn’t able to. Then he realised that this rubber-like thing was his kryptonite.
He was lifted and taken to a small room. Once they were inside the men released him, as soon as Arjun got out, he tried to blast the men but he wasn’t able to. He saw that the room was made of that special rubber. He was ordered to sit down. Arjun obeyed. The men locked the room and left. Arjun tried to find a way to escape but failed. He sat down and sighed. He had lost all hope.
Then he noticed something, there was a window that was at eye level and led out of the house. But was too small for him to escape.
He got an idea. He put his hand outside the window. He wished to switch into his electric form. The part of his hand that was outside the window immediately transformed into electricity and the rest of his body turned into electricity too. He slipped out from the window and wanted to run away.
But then he thought, “Just like the bullies he’ll find me again. It’s time to step up and face him.” He prepared himself for the fight of his life.
Arjun went in front of the Prime Minister’s house and slipped in through the keyhole again. It was night and in his electric form he was very bright, so he switched to his human form to reduce the risk of him being seen. He walked around and found a room he had not seen last time. He entered it and found himself in front of the Prime Minister and his thugs.
Arjun switched to his electric form and jumped, then like a lightning bolt darted towards the thugs, they couldn’t do anything. Arjun knocked them out. He headed towards the terrified Prime Minister and jumped into his head and entered his brain. He tried to control the Prime Minister’s body and succeeded.
He googled where the Chief Justice of India lived and ran to his house, still in the Prime Minister’s body. He found the Chief Justice and got out of the Prime Minister’s brain.
He introduced himself, “If you are wondering who I am you can call me the Lightning Boy, this is the Prime Minister.”
Arjun facing the Prime Minister said, “You will answer every question I ask you honestly.”
The petrified Prime Minister responded with a yes.
“What did you want to do with me?”
“Take your powers.”
“Why did you want my powers?”
“So that I could rule the world”.
The Prime Minister was sent to jail and his authority was taken away. A new Prime Minister took the old Prime Minister’s place. Arjun was rewarded.
Once Arjun was old enough, he was given the job of managing any large-scale crimes. Twenty years later Arjun was fighting two mafias at different locations, at the same time!
We were enjoying our vacation on a lovely private island basking in the pleasant sun. A man approached our parents who were police officers. He said that he had noticed some suspicious activity.
Left to our own, we four kids explored the island taking our tool kits. We stumbled upon a dark cave. Stella, just eleven and the adventurous one insisted we go in. So, I got out a torch light. As we went further in, we reached a crossroad. To ensure we didn’t get lost we used a twig to mark our path.
Deep inside, sharp-eyed Stellar who was eight, discovered a door hidden well by stones stuck to it.
We heard muffled voices. A gruff voice was saying, “We should begin with this island and move on further. What’s our motto?” “Kill trees, kill animals, dominate using technology,” many shouted.
Hearing this, our mouths fell open in shock. Just then a girl about our age popped up from a trap door.
“Who are you? You shouldn’t be here,” she warned.
Leon recovered first from the shock. “I’m Leon, she is Lililia my sister,” he said pointing to me. “He is Stellar, and she is Stella, her brother,” he continued. “Why?”
“I’m Maria. My foster parents work with this secret agency which is trying to destroy nature. Those people are dangerous. Though I don’t like it, I am alone and can’t do anything about it,” she said sadly.
“I have an idea!” I said being quite quick-witted for my age of nine years. “We enter and hide. Maria should know a place. Leon, though just ten but a tech wizard will create a distraction by making sounds of scary animals with his sound gadget. Stella and I will trip them using the climbing ropes from our tool kits. Stellar the agile amongst us can quickly bind them with the ropes. Its late and our parents will come looking for us. If we hold these people till then, they will be caught.”
Indeed, what one thinks in the morning shapes up one’s day. By “one’s day”, I mean the thought patterns for the day which define how one would react to situations. Situations, obviously are quite beyond one’s control. But the responses to the situations aren’t – they can definitely be controlled to suits one’s goals.
One very powerful way which has worked for me to regulate responses and build mindfulness is the “Morning Thought”. It is not an original concept. Several experts have already shared deep insights on what I refer to here as the “Morning Thought.”
Very simply, “Morning Thought” is what one consciously thinks first thing in the morning. I stress here on “consciously”. So far as I am concerned, as soon as I wake up, my chattering mind is all over the place – having just got free from its wild dream-world and into the cage of conscious existence.
A few years ago (no idea when), I realized that to regulate the day and make it productive, one should make the day’s plan early in the morning. I got into the habit of mentally listing out the tasks or activities for the day and my strategies to attend to those tasks. I would mentally list out priorities, set mental (or mobile) reminders as required. This helped me a lot to keep my focus for most part of the day and I realized the importance of the “Morning Thought”.
But planning the day’s activities only helps to manage one’s material life.
The next version of the “Morning Thought” I adopted (maybe a year back) was of gratitude. This is an undoubtedly powerful thought to keep one happy during the day. Telling oneself that it’s a great day and mentally (or verbally) thanking God / the Universe for the little and large pleasures and comforts (home, kids, family, car, food, greenery, rest, job, money, etc.) is a wonderful way to calm the mind for the day. I continue my practice of saying thanks to everything in the morning.
About three months back, I came across another very significant “Morning Thought”. Surprisingly it came in a management course I undertook.
I digress here to state that one thing I respect about the West is that they work towards building up spiritual practices into day-to-day material life. A lot of management techniques reflect inner practices of developing peace and spreading joy. I personally believe that spirituality should be practice-able by every person while doing their normal activities.
So back to the “Morning Thought” which I use now.
It is: “What kind of a person do I want to be today?”.
This is then followed by a detailing of the question – some options which could come up are:
Calm and Peaceful
Focused on work
Kind
Grateful
Happy
Relaxed
This then extends to how the chosen aspect/s would reflect in the day’s situations. For e.g.: “I will be a calm person under work pressure” or “I will maintain focus on completing all pending work and relax later” or “I want to be kind to my family and co-workers today”.
As long as the thoughts are positive, it will steer the day to happiness and contentment.
For me, this one thought – “What kind of person do I want to be today” – sets a great direction every day. It is a paradigm shift from activity-based thinking to character-based thinking. The “Morning Thought” is powerful, potent. It is also a way of ensuring that one’s mind is under control from the start of the day.
Subhash Iyer 